Ok, Ok…… I admit it.

I’m in a FUCKIN RUT!!!

2013 and the second half of 2012 was the worst period of my life. Thank God its over.

Everything from Me losing my job as a construction superintendent to girl having spinal fusion surgery in late Septmember. She was in pain for almost the entire year. She has been out of work since July 1st. She just retuned to work this week. Oh yeah. She also accidently stabbed herself in the eye with a mascara stick and had a torn retina and completely out of commision for a weeks in the spring. She’s a Klutz! Another pisser was she had to go through withdrawls for 2 weeks because she was on prescription pain meds around the clock for over 6 months. Brutal. In August, my old boss showed up at my trailer on a friday and told me the bad news, I was the victim of downsizing! Fuck.

Luckily, I have so many connections from being in the construction field all of my adult life, I was working the following Monday. However, It is a “working foremans” position. Not as prestigous and it doesn’t pay as well. A big step backwards. At first, I really enjoyed getting back to my roots, in the trenches, grinding it out, all day, everyday. Construction workers are retards. You’ll find a collection of crimnals, drug addicts, alcoholics, life long losers, Alphas but mostly betas pretending to be Alphas. As a foreman, you must lead this band of fools everyday. Mostly, they are good guys who will follow my lead. I learned a long time ago, you just can’t stand around, pointing fingers and barking out orders, in a working foremans position. That is a part of it but in order to maintain your status, you must roll up your sleeves and pound out work. I never ask someone else to do job that I would not do myself.

It is HARD work. It is building High end brick patios, Raised patios(inside of retaining walls), brick walkways and retaining wall construction. No mortar. drystack. At 40 years old, going back to physical labor was tough. I’m not 25 anymore. Recovery is the biggest obstacle. Even though, I have always stayed in shape, it’s a huge difference between “gym” shape and “labor” shape. It’s a matter of endurance. It came back to me but it took a couple weeks.

Oh yeah, read this kid. He’s funny and reminds me of myself when I was a bit younger. http://therockyroadahead.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/im-the-smallest-dude-there/

 

Living in the northeast on the southern shores of Lake Ontario, right now its Fuckin cold!!! No one is hiring Superintendents. My only shot is to wait it out and try to locate a job in the spring. Thats when the construction industry heats up.

I’d like to move my family to the South but I’ve fucked my credit up over the last year and I need to do a few improvements to my home before I could even think of putting it on the market. It sucks because there are so many good construction jobs in the South plus the added benefit of not freezing your balls off for 4 months out of the year.

I’d love to start my own business, I’ve got a ton of ideas but again, bad credit and no money, I’m not going to get very far.

In April, I stumbled upon the “manosphere” and took the “red pill”. I was never a pathetic blue pill beta guy but many things regarding my wife and marriage greatly improved after that point. Just ask her. I run my house now, I handle the finances, I fuck her when I want, like my life depends on it. I’m the Dominant, she’s the submissive. It works great. Everyone is happy.

So here I sit, in my rut. I just can’t seem to get anything going. Now I’ve got all this red pill knowledge and gusto and I cant seem to get going. Fuck it, I’m gonna keep grinding but I feel like time is wasting.

Suggestions?