Ok, Ok…… I admit it.

I’m in a FUCKIN RUT!!!

2013 and the second half of 2012 was the worst period of my life. Thank God its over.

Everything from Me losing my job as a construction superintendent to girl having spinal fusion surgery in late Septmember. She was in pain for almost the entire year. She has been out of work since July 1st. She just retuned to work this week. Oh yeah. She also accidently stabbed herself in the eye with a mascara stick and had a torn retina and completely out of commision for a weeks in the spring. She’s a Klutz! Another pisser was she had to go through withdrawls for 2 weeks because she was on prescription pain meds around the clock for over 6 months. Brutal. In August, my old boss showed up at my trailer on a friday and told me the bad news, I was the victim of downsizing! Fuck.

Luckily, I have so many connections from being in the construction field all of my adult life, I was working the following Monday. However, It is a “working foremans” position. Not as prestigous and it doesn’t pay as well. A big step backwards. At first, I really enjoyed getting back to my roots, in the trenches, grinding it out, all day, everyday. Construction workers are retards. You’ll find a collection of crimnals, drug addicts, alcoholics, life long losers, Alphas but mostly betas pretending to be Alphas. As a foreman, you must lead this band of fools everyday. Mostly, they are good guys who will follow my lead. I learned a long time ago, you just can’t stand around, pointing fingers and barking out orders, in a working foremans position. That is a part of it but in order to maintain your status, you must roll up your sleeves and pound out work. I never ask someone else to do job that I would not do myself.

It is HARD work. It is building High end brick patios, Raised patios(inside of retaining walls), brick walkways and retaining wall construction. No mortar. drystack. At 40 years old, going back to physical labor was tough. I’m not 25 anymore. Recovery is the biggest obstacle. Even though, I have always stayed in shape, it’s a huge difference between “gym” shape and “labor” shape. It’s a matter of endurance. It came back to me but it took a couple weeks.

Oh yeah, read this kid. He’s funny and reminds me of myself when I was a bit younger. http://therockyroadahead.wordpress.com/2014/01/05/im-the-smallest-dude-there/


Living in the northeast on the southern shores of Lake Ontario, right now its Fuckin cold!!! No one is hiring Superintendents. My only shot is to wait it out and try to locate a job in the spring. Thats when the construction industry heats up.

I’d like to move my family to the South but I’ve fucked my credit up over the last year and I need to do a few improvements to my home before I could even think of putting it on the market. It sucks because there are so many good construction jobs in the South plus the added benefit of not freezing your balls off for 4 months out of the year.

I’d love to start my own business, I’ve got a ton of ideas but again, bad credit and no money, I’m not going to get very far.

In April, I stumbled upon the “manosphere” and took the “red pill”. I was never a pathetic blue pill beta guy but many things regarding my wife and marriage greatly improved after that point. Just ask her. I run my house now, I handle the finances, I fuck her when I want, like my life depends on it. I’m the Dominant, she’s the submissive. It works great. Everyone is happy.

So here I sit, in my rut. I just can’t seem to get anything going. Now I’ve got all this red pill knowledge and gusto and I cant seem to get going. Fuck it, I’m gonna keep grinding but I feel like time is wasting.



The Randomness Of Polar Bear Hunting

Chateau Heartiste

Something totally random happened in Oklahoma yesterday. A white man was randomly shot and killed by three random uruk-hais randomly pointing guns out of their random ghettomobile, and randomly choosing a target upon whom to unload their random fleeting emotions which some might randomly refer to less randomly as a pointed expulsion of hate.

Here are random photos of the random killers looking like any random person would look who randomly decided to shoot a man dead in the back:

In related news, I randomly chose wine instead of kerosene to drink last weekend. I randomly wore shoes to walk outside instead of going barefoot. And I randomly avoided a dilapidated neighborhood known to be full of restless orcs. It’s this randomness of life that makes all of us feel morally superior for avoiding the notice of any non-random occurrences. Three cheers for awful, tragic randomness!

“They pulled up behind…

View original post 606 more words

On the Subject of a Crummy Childhood and playing the Parent Blamer game

The Salacious Musings of Eros


Dear Parent Blamers…………….
I think I have three words here…”Just stop it”
It’s sad and pointless. And for the rest of us innocent bystanders… very annoying.
To be completely honest, we’re sick of your whining, your complaining, your anger, your victim mentality and your inability to see that your current attitude (not some historical event) is your biggest problem. We’re also sick of you blaming your (current) bad behavior on your parents. What’s standing between you and success right now is YOU. Not your folks, not your history… you. And the fact that you think THEY have sabotaged your life and are somehow responsible for your (current) stupid behaviours and less-than-desirable outcomes, wreaks of denial, immaturity and delusion.
Yes, we all get that your childhood, or parts thereof, sucked – welcome to the world’s largest club…been there done some of that myself
We also get that your old man was…

View original post 447 more words

Project August: Day 6 – The Hunger of a Dominant

” We desire to hold that treasure that is the submissive woman. It is a need, a hunger within that never truly dies, never truly is ever fully satisfied.”
An extremely accurate description.

Liberate One

Okay, students, pay attention. I know some of you have questions about how a Dominant thinks, what does a Dominant need, and what drives a person to want to be a Dominant in a D/s relationship. So pay attention. I am going to talk about these things from a personal perspective. You may not fully understand all of it, but know that your understanding is not required.

View original post 759 more words


I want and crave you
I direct and devour you
I own you

belongstoqqquietone's Blog

I want….  And need to feel wanted….
I crave…  And endeavor to be craved……
I obey….  And must be directed…
I taste….. And enjoy being devoured…
I live………And with only you do ” I live”

I love……… As I am yours and everything I am is YOU!

View original post